I have to maintain the focus on the program this summer with everything going on. It's a hard balancing act. This journaling is a big help, though. I've been working on getting everything together for this summer's road trip. So far, I'm partially packed, but I do have a couple of weeks to go, and a brief trip up to the Adirondacks right before hand. I think I'll just take up one dress for that, as well as my rolling backpack. I won't need much more than that. And at least I know where I get my overpacking from: my mom. I was helping them get ready for their trip to Alaska, and Mom's suitcase was at least twice as heavy as Dad's. Yikes. And she wonders why she complains of back and shoulder problems!! The other thing I need to do is get my music together. I need several copies of each aria I'm working on, including the originals. I'm glad I've got several copies of each aria in some form or other. I think I'll take my scores and use those - I dont' care if those get written in. Well, I feel there's lots more to think about, but I'd better get busy with the music end of things.

I'm tired of being tired. This thing is taking a long time to go away. It would help if I could sleep decently, but in this small house, that's impossible. At least the 'rents are going away for a few days. I can practice and sleep as I wish. My students even called today to move to other days, so tomorrow is free and I can get some business stuff done. Need to get those bills mailed off. I want to think of something profound to put in these pages. We'll see what happens. I'm not my sister, the writer. That's for sure. I do love to write, though. I like being able to get things off my chest and out of my system. It's getting easier to take care of me as I do it. I'm glad I left teaching. It wasn't me and I wasn't turning into a good person. I couldn't be the person God wants me to be. As frustrating as the life of an actor can be at times, I feel I'm following the path that he wants me to follow.


I just feel this need to write and write. I'm not saying anything at all, but sometimes stream-of-conciousness can be a good thing. Or semi-stream of conciousness. I'm kind of editing thoughts as I type - not fair. I'm remembering meghan boeing from Ithaca and her journaling - at least she always seemed to have a blank book around. She's a person I wished I had known better. Very intelligent and self-assured. I'd like to be more like her. I'm glad we had the same host family that one time on choir tour. Not that I didn't love the times I spent with Amanda - especially in the one house that was under construction and we had a room full of plaster dust. I dont' know how we survived. She sure made it easier!

It's interesting how things in life connect up with each other.


For instance: I'm working through The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, and I'll invariably find sermons in church that hit on the same issues. Like at Syracuse Home the other Sunday. It just really hit me. She ended up talking about blurts and affirmations (to use the Cameron phrase). I can believe in me. God certainly does. The morning pages are getting easier. Still no real artist’s date as I had hoped, but I’m finding that through the course of a day, I’m taking more “little moments” for me - for instance, parking on the far side of the lot when going to the supermarket so I can walk by the huge landscaping at the front of a certain aisle that is full of lilac bushes - the fragrance is heavenly. And, now that farmers’ markets are in season, fresh fruits and veggies. I find that I’m eating better when all my senses are involved.



I did find another wonderful spot for an artist’s date while performing in a benefit this weekend. It’s an art park set back in the hills east of the city. Apparently they have classes and concerts all summer. I’ve grown up in this area and had no clue that this even existed. There are multiple paths to explore as well.



Performance progress: I sang Glitter and Be Gay at the benefit (an all Bernstein concert). The rest of the performers were absolutely amazing, and it was highly inspirational to be there. I tried to perform without feeling the need to “do something” with every moment. (I can get in the way of my own performance pretty easily trying to pull some piece of schtick or other!). It almost worked - another performance or two, and I’ll have it. Fortunately, I had a fabulous accompanist - Kevin Moore - who helped make me look great! I actually got a standing ovation - my first(!) from a couple in the audience (I didn’t know them!), reconnected with a former coach - Jerry Exline - we’ll be working together again - he’s always been a big inspiration - *and* made a voice teacher who’s never really seemed to liked me smile a genuine smile :-), but the complete highlight of the evening was the 5 big hugs I received from my old flute teacher - John Oberbrunner. It was the first time he had heard me sing, and I don’t think - until last night - that he had ever forgiven me for giving up on the flute. He’s now one of my biggest fans :-) That meant more to me than anything has in a long time. And, I really appreciate Carol's confidence in me to ask me to do something of this nature. She's such a positive person to be around.



Goals:

1. AW and FlyLady - MPs, MPs, MPs!!

2. exercise: continue to use yoga breathing tape for energy. Add a weight loss video or ride the bike now that the energy level is getting better.

3. Keep organizing for summer program.

4. Refine arias for late June mini recital for local charitable organization. Rehearse with accompanist

5. Keep up with early bedtime.

I got the program package in the mail - I was beginning to get antsy about it. The place looks gorgeous - we're even staying in houses, not a dorm, and they overlook the river. We'll even have a kitchen, which I'm happy about. Easier to stay on the diet if I'm not around fast food all the time. I love that we were told to bring *ballet slippers* if we had them!!! I miss dance class - wish I could afford lessons. I need them. The road trip is actually doable with the stops I have in mind, which is nice, but the visit to Coshocton will be on the way back, I think. They haven't picked any pieces for me, so for Female Charitable I'm doing: Caro nome, Willow Song, Doll Song and something German - I have too many there to pick from. Same with French, but they'll all know the Doll Song for sure. There's tons of stuff to prep for the summer, so I'm going to get my butt in gear this week and get everything planned and laid out. I don't think we have any house guests coming between now and then. Yeah road trip!


Well, I've got a concert tomorrow night, so I'm going to get some rest. It's "just" Glitter and Be Gay" and "Make Our Garden Grow", but there's the church job in the am - I'll have to go easy at rehearsal. But it's exciting to be earning money singing - finally.