Family support is always beneficial for performers. Just want to take time in the middle of a hectic, frustrating week to acknowledge my grandparents. They always encouraged me to be true to myself, so here I am, trying to make a living as an opera singer. I had been teaching, following in my mother's footsteps, but it never seemed like the right fit. I don't care how many people tell me that I'm a wonderful teacher, I just don't feel like myself when I have to teach full time. Small groups, ok. Private music students - great. But public school - not for me. I respect too many people in the profession and care about the kids too much to be up in front of a class on a full time basis without my whole heart in it. Now opera outreach is another story entirely. Put me in front of a large group of kids telling a story, and I feel alive. Well, Grandpa Palmer always says; "It's not work if you enjoy it."

Little Night Music has been the greatest joy of my life to work on - a great script, fabulous director/tech/crew, and a cast with no egos - just people working hard together to put on a great show. I’ve made some new lifelong friends and reconnected with some old ones. The biggest professional thing I learned, and my humorous story for this post: never do anything in performance that you have not rehearsed - at least once - in a real rehearsal. As wonderful as our costume crew was, there was a miscommunication about a costume change, so the stage crew ended up helping me until opening night (the guys were perfect gentlemen about the whole thing). Well, I was so focused on it that I jumped the costume change to the exit before it needed to me (they were pretty close together and almost identical - I ran off crying in both instances). So, on opening night, the dressers started stripping me (and the merry widow/long line gave out so out comes my top half) when the next scene starts, and I realize “Oh, crap, I have to be on stage in about 5 seconds!” Our Fredrik later told me he didn’t think we were going to make it, but we did - me running on with my shawl covering my unzipped bodice, let out the giant sob when I see Henrik and Petra together and running back off for the proper change time (which was interesting all by itself). Ah - live theater!



I’ve never cried at the end of a run before. Desiree and Fredrik were at the moment for their kiss in the last scene when everyone backstage started weeping and hugging each other. Noone wanted it to end. Several people in the company are also working on the move to NYC (I still haven’t found the right apartment - yet), so we decided to start looking for a larger space as well to open up more options.



AW has been a big help through all this. Especially the artist’s dates. I actually took myself to a jazz concert (Charlie Hunter Trio) that was at the college where we performed A Little Night Music. The concert was so energizing, fun, and over far too soon. It was a joy to see the performers up there showing that they were having fun, joking around with each other, and letting the audience in on the fun. I felt funny at first, dressed in nice slacks and blouse with all these guitarists in jeans and tshirts sitting around me. The one guy sitting next to me started up a brief conversation when he saw my copy of the coloratura soprano aria book (I took the opportunity to use a practice room for a bit). He thought it was pretty cool that a “stuffy opera singer” was at a jazz concert. I really am relishing doing things like this for myself.

We had to interact as our characters (I’m using Adele due to an upcoming audition) in a variety of ways. The most interesting was “You’re at a train station, waiting for a train”. Adele interacted with Nemorino, Donna Anna, Dandini, Beppo, Nedda, Blondchen, and Daisy Buchanan (imagine Daisy Buchanan teaching Adele - er - “Olga” how to Charleston and telling her to chop off Rosalinda’s dress above the knee.....) That kind of play is very freeing! There are moments, despite the pressures and intense schedule, that this whole program has been like one big artist’s date.



Play is important. It’s crucial!



Off to a concert - don’t forget to Play!!!

I had an inadvertent artist’s date when I attempted to drive into Cincinnati from Rising Sun - I accidentally

turned up another road, heading north on Indiana Rt 1 (oops!). But Nigel Kennedy was playing some Bach with an orchestra, and the weather was lovely, so I had a nice recharging drive. I also had a small shopping spree, looking for new audition shoes, that turned into clothes buying when I found this little Indian-styled clothing shop with some beautiful hand-embroidered clothes (perhaps useful for playing around with Lakme...;-) I never buy clothes for myself, so I felt funny. In amongst them is a beautiful hand crocheted shawl with beads that I haven’t used yet, but I feel like I’ve given myself something really luxurious.



Acting class today was highly productive: we worked in partners, singing our arias to each other and placing small beads (our acting teacher went to the Party Store for them) around important words: could be beginning, middle, or end of the word, but it had to be when the thought impulse lead us to do it. It really opened up Adele for me! I practically was throwing them at my partner in a couple places. She was really impressed at what this did for my performance of the piece.



We also worked with beginnings, middles, and ends of our arias: ie, Mein Herr Marquis would be



Beg: Darum rate ich, ja genauer sich, die Leute an zu sein



Mid: Der gleichen finden Sie bei einer Zofe nie



End: Mir scheint wohl, die Liebe Macht Ihre Augen trübe, Der schönen Zofe Bild Hat ganz Ihr Herz erfüllt!



We had to assign qualities of movement/emotion to each and work through, making them flow together and explore the distances between them. Quite interesting!



Anyways, most AW stuff has flown out the window - a few morning pages (sometimes I do them at lunch under the trees outside the school where we are working), but not consistent, and only the accidental artist’s date. Lots of walks (I walk to the library, to the grocery store, so I’ll try and fit the walks in there), but the only thing that’s been consistent has been reading “Walking in the World”. I’ve actually been rereading the first 2 chapters, as they really are making more sense to me with what I’m going through. I was thinking about processing the personal experience more before sharing it with y’all, but one thing I’ve learned here is that I edit myself too much, so here goes nothing:



I’m moving. Probably to New York.



They’ve recommended a teacher for me to contact, plus my current one may also be moving there, as well as the contact with the coaches I’ve been working with. There are many wonderful things to do where I am currently, but I almost feel constrained in terms of artistic growth - no challenge any more. I just found out what the outreach program wants to do this next year and am having second thoughts, sort of, but I know what it says in Chapter 2 - some things will seem comfortable and easy to slide back into. The quote that sums up the whole thing for me is from Center Stage (the ballet movie): when presumably offered a chance to the in the chorus of one of the best dance companies in the world, the main character says something to the effect of: “I don’t want to spend the best years of my performing life waving a tulip in the back of the chorus.” I can’t really complain about any of the opportunities I’ve had over the last 2 years, but I’ve become lacksidasical (sp?) in my performing.

I’m taking extensive notes in the masterclasses and taping everything I possibly can. My big relevation today is that we tend to rely too much on recordings (people making notational mistakes from recordings - even if you aren’t practicing with them - just stuff we pick up secondhand, as it were). Also, try what the composer has on the page (ie. rests for me - I was glossing over a few), as there’s usually a reason for what’s there - for acting as well as musically. I just spent the better part of an hour rerecording a “melody only” tape of all my arias, just to be sure all the pitches were there. I’m going home to hum (closed ng, that is, for my new space that I’m finding) to it, just to double check things. I’ve already found 2 spots in different pieces where the pitches aren’t quite perfect.



The best thing overall that we’ve done so far is acting class - not just coaching, but regular acting classes, as well as movement. We all start the morning off together in a yoga/dance class - we actually sweated big time this am (Thursday), making up dance steps to “Shake Senora” - that song from the end of the movie “Beetlejuice”. But the bulk of the class is yoga style breath and strengthening, along with a short ballet barre so we learn to move gracefully on stage. My teacher from home is the diction instructor and alreaady notices more of a freedom in my breathing. The closest thing I can think of commercially is Rodney Yee’s AM Yoga for Beginners - some of the breathing stretches and poses are on there.



I’ve had other relevations of a personal nature - AW related, that I need to work through and share at a later time.

Well, here I am in Indiana. The one on one coachings are great, but getting up for these masterclasses is really scary. I have such a fear of them, it's ridiculous. I hate it. I wish I could have more confidence in myself, but I feel so far below everyone else sometimes. Or that they think I suck. or something. I love the coaches I'm working with. I had two - one extra(!) fabulous coachings today. I shouldn't let the masterclass bum me out. I just wish I could show the confidence I feel inside - my mental practice was fine, but I got up there for Beginnings and Endings and screwed up the pronunciation of my last name, of all things. Wish I could change it! It totally threw me off. I need to not let that happen. I love the acting coachings and acting class the best. I'll do better tomorrow. Off for more prep. At least the journaling helps.

I have to maintain the focus on the program this summer with everything going on. It's a hard balancing act. This journaling is a big help, though. I've been working on getting everything together for this summer's road trip. So far, I'm partially packed, but I do have a couple of weeks to go, and a brief trip up to the Adirondacks right before hand. I think I'll just take up one dress for that, as well as my rolling backpack. I won't need much more than that. And at least I know where I get my overpacking from: my mom. I was helping them get ready for their trip to Alaska, and Mom's suitcase was at least twice as heavy as Dad's. Yikes. And she wonders why she complains of back and shoulder problems!! The other thing I need to do is get my music together. I need several copies of each aria I'm working on, including the originals. I'm glad I've got several copies of each aria in some form or other. I think I'll take my scores and use those - I dont' care if those get written in. Well, I feel there's lots more to think about, but I'd better get busy with the music end of things.

I'm tired of being tired. This thing is taking a long time to go away. It would help if I could sleep decently, but in this small house, that's impossible. At least the 'rents are going away for a few days. I can practice and sleep as I wish. My students even called today to move to other days, so tomorrow is free and I can get some business stuff done. Need to get those bills mailed off. I want to think of something profound to put in these pages. We'll see what happens. I'm not my sister, the writer. That's for sure. I do love to write, though. I like being able to get things off my chest and out of my system. It's getting easier to take care of me as I do it. I'm glad I left teaching. It wasn't me and I wasn't turning into a good person. I couldn't be the person God wants me to be. As frustrating as the life of an actor can be at times, I feel I'm following the path that he wants me to follow.


I just feel this need to write and write. I'm not saying anything at all, but sometimes stream-of-conciousness can be a good thing. Or semi-stream of conciousness. I'm kind of editing thoughts as I type - not fair. I'm remembering meghan boeing from Ithaca and her journaling - at least she always seemed to have a blank book around. She's a person I wished I had known better. Very intelligent and self-assured. I'd like to be more like her. I'm glad we had the same host family that one time on choir tour. Not that I didn't love the times I spent with Amanda - especially in the one house that was under construction and we had a room full of plaster dust. I dont' know how we survived. She sure made it easier!

It's interesting how things in life connect up with each other.


For instance: I'm working through The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, and I'll invariably find sermons in church that hit on the same issues. Like at Syracuse Home the other Sunday. It just really hit me. She ended up talking about blurts and affirmations (to use the Cameron phrase). I can believe in me. God certainly does. The morning pages are getting easier. Still no real artist’s date as I had hoped, but I’m finding that through the course of a day, I’m taking more “little moments” for me - for instance, parking on the far side of the lot when going to the supermarket so I can walk by the huge landscaping at the front of a certain aisle that is full of lilac bushes - the fragrance is heavenly. And, now that farmers’ markets are in season, fresh fruits and veggies. I find that I’m eating better when all my senses are involved.



I did find another wonderful spot for an artist’s date while performing in a benefit this weekend. It’s an art park set back in the hills east of the city. Apparently they have classes and concerts all summer. I’ve grown up in this area and had no clue that this even existed. There are multiple paths to explore as well.



Performance progress: I sang Glitter and Be Gay at the benefit (an all Bernstein concert). The rest of the performers were absolutely amazing, and it was highly inspirational to be there. I tried to perform without feeling the need to “do something” with every moment. (I can get in the way of my own performance pretty easily trying to pull some piece of schtick or other!). It almost worked - another performance or two, and I’ll have it. Fortunately, I had a fabulous accompanist - Kevin Moore - who helped make me look great! I actually got a standing ovation - my first(!) from a couple in the audience (I didn’t know them!), reconnected with a former coach - Jerry Exline - we’ll be working together again - he’s always been a big inspiration - *and* made a voice teacher who’s never really seemed to liked me smile a genuine smile :-), but the complete highlight of the evening was the 5 big hugs I received from my old flute teacher - John Oberbrunner. It was the first time he had heard me sing, and I don’t think - until last night - that he had ever forgiven me for giving up on the flute. He’s now one of my biggest fans :-) That meant more to me than anything has in a long time. And, I really appreciate Carol's confidence in me to ask me to do something of this nature. She's such a positive person to be around.



Goals:

1. AW and FlyLady - MPs, MPs, MPs!!

2. exercise: continue to use yoga breathing tape for energy. Add a weight loss video or ride the bike now that the energy level is getting better.

3. Keep organizing for summer program.

4. Refine arias for late June mini recital for local charitable organization. Rehearse with accompanist

5. Keep up with early bedtime.

I got the program package in the mail - I was beginning to get antsy about it. The place looks gorgeous - we're even staying in houses, not a dorm, and they overlook the river. We'll even have a kitchen, which I'm happy about. Easier to stay on the diet if I'm not around fast food all the time. I love that we were told to bring *ballet slippers* if we had them!!! I miss dance class - wish I could afford lessons. I need them. The road trip is actually doable with the stops I have in mind, which is nice, but the visit to Coshocton will be on the way back, I think. They haven't picked any pieces for me, so for Female Charitable I'm doing: Caro nome, Willow Song, Doll Song and something German - I have too many there to pick from. Same with French, but they'll all know the Doll Song for sure. There's tons of stuff to prep for the summer, so I'm going to get my butt in gear this week and get everything planned and laid out. I don't think we have any house guests coming between now and then. Yeah road trip!


Well, I've got a concert tomorrow night, so I'm going to get some rest. It's "just" Glitter and Be Gay" and "Make Our Garden Grow", but there's the church job in the am - I'll have to go easy at rehearsal. But it's exciting to be earning money singing - finally.

I'm getting more and more thrilled about this summer. I'm really looking forward to improving as much as I can AND I also just found out that a friend of mine from grad school will be there- her boyfriend too. It'll be great to see her again. She's such a postive person to be around with such a commitment to her voice and the music. I can't wait to hear the progress in her voice. I've decided to drive out. Then I can stop and see the family in Cleveland and Cincinnati on the way. Maybe even stop at the cemetery where Hazel is buried. We'll see. It would provide me with the perfect spots in which to break up the trip!

It's Memorial Day (celebrated, that is) in 2003 and I'm looking forward to spending part of my summer in Indiana working on this craziness we call a theatrical career. I absolutely love it - even when I'm on a 10 foot platform with no railing in the back and I'm petrified every minute. I was proud of myself: I really came a long way in conquering my fear of heights during MacBeth. I would never have been able to do it, though, without the assistance of my fellow choristers. I actually walked across the platform by myself before our final rehearsal. Had to stop once in the center, but I made it. (You guys are all faboo - just in case you didn't know that already!)


Anyhoo - about Indiana. I'll be at Rising Star Singer's Audition Works. Two lessons a week, two coachings a week, private diction lessons (with Patrice!!!!), acting,

movement, and 3 concerts in 3 weeks, among other activities. I'm getting anxious to find out what I'll be singing for the concerts! In the meantime, I've got the church gig, the June 8th CMM benefit (Glitter and Be Gay and Make Your Garden Grow. I almost can put Cunegonde down as a role I've studied!), and the Female Charitable Society Annual Meeting. I'll be singing most of my audition arias in a low pressure situation and getting paid (depending on how much the accompanist wants) for it to boot. So far: Baby Doe's Willow Song, Caro nome, Olympia and something more relaxed. Maybe One Kiss (the Romberg). I need something semi-familiar to the general membership. Or something more musical theaterish. Glitter's just too long to consider for inclusion, if that's what you're thinking. Then I go to Indiana!

I had a huge AW style lesson tonight. I went to our local library to accompany one of my students at the monthly open mike night and wound up in the middle of a wonderful artist’s date! People got up and sang or played whatever style they felt like. Some were good, some needed work - but all were appreciated. (I even got praised for my piano playing, but we won’t get into that...)



My first lesson came from a gentleman who had a massive stroke back in August. I’m told he’s a fabulous guitar player: it was evident, even though he didn’t play anything terribly complicated on the guitar and the left side of his body still isn’t fully useable, from what I’m told. (You wouldn’t have known it by me - I only wish I could play guitar that well!). He also decided to pick up the autoharp a few weeks ago, just to give him a musical outlet that wouldn’t rely on his left hand as much as the guitar does. Nothing is going to stop him from making music.



My second lesson came from my student. I arrived to find a freaked out student (”My voice is cracking, I won’t sing tonight”, etc), thinking she couldn’t even get through the one song, and then I found out that they would be *taping tonight for the public access channel* (!!) and that usually people had a whole set ready to go. I reminded her to relax and breathe and also told her that whatever she decided to to was fine with me. I also suggested that if she was willing, I’d help her work up a set for the following month - she’s got the rep in her voice to do that easily. She initially wasn’t going to do it, but with very little drama about it (unlike me :-), she signed up and did it. She knew it might not be perfect, but got up because she knew this was a good place to get the experience she needs. I need that kind of moxie.



An accepting group, performances that came from the heart and expressed the emotion of the text/music, people having fun making music. Wow. What a kick in the kiester that was.


While talking with the organizers afterwards, the subject of my nerves came up. To make this growing story short, I’ll be singing a few of my English language art songs at next month’s gathering. Talk about syncronicity!

Well, it turned out that I had a mono-related virus. I'm still not functioning fully vocally speaking. It's driving me crazy. Ah, well. Slow and steady wins the race. Better not to push a lot and be able to sing later rather than blow it all for momentary glory.


I'm still so thrilled about my acceptance to Rising Star for the summer. Nothing but training, training, training. 3 weeks to spend time on nothing but the voice. It'll be a good experience.


I'm a bit nervous about the concert coming up this week. I'm only singing one piece, but still - it's Baby Doe. I'd love to play that part, and I want people to hear me at my best on it. Well, back to work. More later when I've got time.

Now that things have calmed down a bit more, I’ve discovered that trying to get back into MP’s are harder than I thought (but they’ve been a struggle for me the last couple of rounds that we’ve had through the book.) I actually didn’t do *any* this week, but intend to rectify that!



I am doing this because I know I can achieve more that I have been in my performing career, and I really feel this is the career where God wants me to be. It’s performing where I feel the most like me - not teaching music in the public schools, which is where I was before leaving to get an MM in vocal performance due to the suggestion of a wonderfully supportive voice teacher. However, I can be the worst critic for myself and tend not to believe that I *can* do this career, despite the best support from some wonderful people in the business. The Artist’s Way was suggested by my current teacher.



Artist’s Date: we did our outreach show for an Arts Festival supported by a local church (their gift to the community). It’s a juried visual arts show with free performing arts concerts - all local artists. I went early and used the time to wander through the exhibits, which was a nice, peaceful time. No major breakthroughs, but it was a wonderful time to breathe and relax before a performance.



Synchronicity: probably the Artist’s Date. I wasn’t supposed to be the one performing my role at that performance, so I wouldn’t have been at the art show. All in all, it worked out well, and I have extra paycheck coming in.



Goals:

1. continue AW and FlyLady - special focus on morning pages!

2. exercise: continue to use yoga breathing tape for energy.

3. practice for FUUS concert 5/17: Baby Doe: “Willow Song” (rehearse with accompanist)

4. practice for Benefit concert in June for CMM: “Glitter and be Gay” and add “Make Our Garden Grow”

5. Keep organizing music, etc for Rising Star

5a. Send deposit to Rising Star

6. Put together copies of music for late June mini recital for local charitable organization. Use summer program rep and get it to accompanist. Set up rehearsal for 2 weeks from now.

7. Keep up with early bedtime.

With both Dido and MacBeth, I’ve been taking everything else pretty easy (especially while still under the recovery process!). MacBeth’s final performance is tomorrow - we got a 4 star in the paper this morning. Everything AW (and FlyLady for me too!) had been pushed to the side as I’ve been sleeping a lot and just focusing on performing - even subbing for an afternoon - 2 45 min. music theory classes, the lunch and planning periods just wiped me out. So, I’m going to get back on track this week. (starting Monday morning!).



Oh - and the result of my Dido and Aeneas dilemma from a few weeks back: the performance was okay. My mom said I wasn’t as strong as I usually am. Usually she’ll just say: “Oh, you were wonderful, dear!” no matter what, so it’s a step forward for her. But if there was any question in anyone’s mind, I am *Not* a mezzo :-). Everyone else sang beautifully - the Belinda graduated from the same high school I did a few years after me (I had just graduated college and was subbing at my old HS) - we even worked with the same teacher for a while. It was a real treat to hear how her voice has simply blossomed!



The following AW related things did happen:



Synchronicity: my high school chorus teacher handed me a large bag when I walked in for the aforementioned 1/2 day of subbing and said “Here’s a present for all the help you’ve given me this year.” It was a huge home spa kit that has been greatly appreciated during my recovery. My artist dates, at least, have been kept up!



And my major news: (drum roll): I received my formal acceptance letter to study at Rising Star Singers’ Audition Works from July 19-August 7. The acceptance letter was so positive (”The faculty unanimously accepts your application....”) that it totally made up for all the rejection letters during the recent YAP audition season!!



Goals:

1. Restart AW and FlyLady

2. exercise - use yoga breathing tape if still too tired

3. practice for FUUS concert: “Now...Later...Soon” and Baby Doe’s “Willow Song” (schedule rehearsals with accompanist)

4. practice for Benefit concert in June for CMM: “Glitter and be Gay”

5. Organize music, etc for Rising Star

6. Contact accompanist for late June mini recital for local charitable organization, discuss possible rep. (use summer program rep as much as possible)

7. Friday performance of outreach show (in my hometown - finally!)

I've been on complete voice rest for 2 whole weeks. It's driving me crazy. Everyone except one of the people I sing with has been fantastic about this. I'm grateful that one friend in particular is back, as she's filling in on my church gig for me. Sigh. I'm still tired. Will finish my thoughts tomorrow.

We finally got power back - Central NY was hit pretty heavily by an ice storm this weekend, so I had a forced tv deprivation (except for the little handheld tv a family member brought over on Saturday night for the big SU game - go SU!). I didn’t miss television at all! We couldn’t go outside for a bit due to falling branches - no damage to the house or cars, thank goodness. We only lost 3 trees and a whole lotta limbs - minor compared to everyone else. And even though the sump pump couldn’t do its job, we only had to bail out the cistern a few times - with the only pitcher small enough to fit that was handy: a carnivalware pitcher. (the colored shiny glassware that you find in antique stores!)



I didn’t have a real artist’s date, but I did have some nice quiet time due to all this, which was much needed - not only for my health, but for artistic reflection. I also got a start on Elisir, which I’ve been wanting to do for some time now. This whole weekend made me realize that although I have been taking time for me, I *haven’t* been taking time for me, if you know what I mean. It was *real* quiet time. It encouraged me to think about a retreat - religious or otherwise. I’m not sure yet. I just have this feeling there are some things in the back of my brain that I need to think through that aren’t coming out in the morning pages yet.

The ENT was fabulous - didn’t charge me for being a “new” patient (I saw him when he was in another group of otolaryngologists - sp?), nor did I need to be scoped, so I only paid for the office visit, and not the $400+ I had expected. Yay! Turns out I have something that is in the same family of viruses as mono. Am now on Zithromax, salt water gargle, no talking, and bed rest! No lesson till next week, and then, no arias or MT/job related stuff - I need to bring in “Come Ready and See Me”. Anything else of that level that you all like to sing are welcome suggestions!

The medical end of things: on hearing me, my teacher said not to even hum until about Wednesday, and the doctor referred me to the ENT - I now have an appointment on Friday to get scoped. Expensive, but worth it. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

I agree with whomever said that it gets harder the higher you move up the ladder in the business. I guess that’s why I love the educational programs I’m doing so much - the immediate contact with a very enthusiastic audience (even if they are telling the Giant where Jack is hiding in the house)! Nursing homes and senior centers are always a soul satisfying place to sing - and you don’t just need to sing “the oldies”. The seniors I usually sing for love it when I throw in something they haven’t heard before, as they tell me: “It keeps my mind growing!” I find these types of performances really keep me grounded.



My personal check in:



I’ve been felled by illness this week - probably not doing NATS, which I’m bummed about. I really feel/felt pretty good about it this time. (I usually freak out about competitions, but really felt like I was ready to move beyond my comfort zone this time!). AW has fallen by the wayside, and I have no excuse other than dealing with massive amounts of post-nasal drip (that’s what I get for not using the neti pot lately!) I’m determined to get back on track. With everything. I’ve been using my down time to catch up on the business end of things - thanks to all for the resume tips!.

I still can't believe I finally have one of the leads in a production with an opera company!!! Well, not *the* lead, but a major role. I'll be playing Anne Ergeman in A Little Night Music with Oswego Opera!! The same director as Magic Flute, and some wonderful people to be on stage with. I've been told that I'm perfect for the part - I've kicked the weight loss into high gear - no way will I be going onstage at this weight wearing all white!! I'll look like an elephant. I need to lose the weight for my health, anyways. At least it's coming off in a healthy manner this time.


It seems so silly to be focused on this, though, when the whole world is falling apart. I'm grateful for every chance I have to be onstage, practicing my craft, but what does it mean in the grand scheme of things? I had an interesting conversation with an exchange student that stayed with our family. I believe it's important to get different perspectives and not just buy into everything we get through the media. Sometimes lately I wish we could take an isolationist stance. I'm tired of hearing that help is needed from the US and then hearing that we are too imperialistic a country. I agree that American brands should stay out of things - part of what makes this world a special place is all the differences you find - I'd hate to see any culture or language disappear due to the influx of another culture. That's just plain wrong. I think it suprised my friend when I made that statement. I believe we should all be there for each other - we need to help the starving and poor of the world - share knowledge, but not force our way of life on each other. But how does that fit in with removing dirtbags like Hitler, Hussein and bin Laden. People like that don't deserve to be in power. I get mad seeing pictures of all the palaces - what is it - 6? - that Hussein has and then the conditions of the poor in his country. Stop whining about how the US is keeping 'your' people oppressed and take care of them, for pete's sake! You're willing to destroy the people of Iraq and say that we are at fault? I don't think so. Take a look in the mirror.


I don't know. I'm beginning to blather - need sleep.